Excerpt: Just Before the Dawn (Sicut Ante Lucem)

Excerpt from NaNoWriMo 2017

Page 11

By Sophie Stephens

Looking back now, I realize how much I enjoyed those days. Rosie and Elliot by my side, floating through the halls, unnoticed enough to be in our own little world, planning out our futures together. I even miss the jocks, always a constant source of entertainment and gossip, after our groups began to mix and I started actually paying attention to their silly little conversations. I miss listening to my friends complain about school like everyone does. I miss our weekly coffee dates. I miss our adventures, our senior year bucket list that took us to places all over the city. I miss the days I didn’t take the time to revel in. I miss the days I’ll never get back.

Back then, I always felt like I was living in the future, instead of the present.

Like carpe diem meant absolutely nothing to me. I never relished high school, or just acted like a teenager, partying or dating or just having fun like they do in the movies. I hardly acknowledged the fact that I was about to graduate; I didn’t care about high school or teenage years, I just wanted to start over. I never felt pressured to stay super connected with old friends from middle school or elementary school, or even old teachers for that matter. I was never really upset by not having a boyfriend or a date to the homecoming every year; if I am being completely honest, boyfriends and the commitment and the stress of planning homecoming with dates always kind of scared me. I was afraid of being tied down to high school, to this town. I never felt the need to savor those moments. I was always thinking about the future; about college, and what job I wanted to get. Where I wanted to move to. I never paid attention to the moments before meeting Cooper. He pushed me to step out of my comfort zone and make memories.

Now if only I could live in the past, with Rosie and Elliot.

With Cooper.

Just like before.

Just like normal.

 

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